Wherever I go no one looks like me

What I realize more and more is that I’m not only between two cultures regarding my behavior and way of thinking but also regarding my looks. Sometimes it feels weird to be different no matter where I am. When in Austria it’s obvious. I do not look Austrian, there is not much to explain about that. But what about Iran? Have you ever seen “average” Iranian girls? In Iran most women have had at least a nose job. Lip surgeries and other ways to make your face look more like a doll are also popular. Everyone dyes their hair, blond is the most favorable hair color. Tattooed eyebrows are also often found within Iranian women. What else? Tons of makeup and generally and also unfortunately a very arrogant way of looking at other people. To make it clear, I do not judge. I did when I was younger but nowadays I’m more mature (at least sometimes) and realize that fashion is just different in other countries and you have to accept that.

But is it only fashion? As a coach I always like to dig deeper. Whenever I see women overly obsessed with their looks I often also see lack of self love. Because when I ask these women if they find themselves beautiful without all the makeup most of them answer “no”. But it’s not only women, it’s also men. At least the younger generation of men is also very bothered about their looks. They do their eyebrows and also get makeup on their wedding day. To be honest I think this is only fair and also some kind of a natural development. It was weird anyway when women looked like cartoon characters and next to them you saw their hairy (yet often bold) husbands walking. But coming back to the self love issue, girls in Iran are told that they NEED the nose job, otherwise they are ugly. They need to follow trends, otherwise they are weird. How is it possible to love yourself the way you are with these restrictions? As an example my male cousin used to ask his fiancé to put on more makeup because he liked her more that way. Another female cousin of mine told me not to bring the same outfit twice when I visit family in Iran cause people might think I am poor. Similar to that I know a guy who was really relieved when he moved away from Iran. One of the reasons was that he could finally wear his favorite pair of jeans without bothering if anyone had seen him in those jeans before. It sounds so ridiculous but this is how people think.

And then there is me: (almost) no makeup, no fake looks, curly hair which I do not bother to straighten, dye or whatever, and yeah I just look “normally” at people and sometimes — believe it or not — I smile.

By the way what motivates women to invest so much time and money in their looks is either finding a suitable (and rich) husband or keeping them. And I was also often told to do this and that to find a husband. I heard so much bullshit in my younger years, nowadays no one talks to me about my looks anymore. Maybe because I’m an adult now or because I managed to find a husband anyway despite my lack of makeup. I can’t help but get sarcastic about this topic as it’s been bothering me forever. These women are SO beautiful or they were beautiful. Nowadays they all look the same, the same fake doll faces everywhere. For me this is really sad but when I talk to people about it they look at me like I’m from a different planet.

Oh well, I am grateful for all the love I feel for myself and that I like what I see in the mirror, no matter if it’s in the morning or before attending a party. And I wish all (Iranian) women loved themselves just the way they are and used makeup only because they liked it and not because society expects them to do so.